What Music Means to Me

I’d never created songs ’til 4 months ago? I’d written psychological essays on emotional and spiritual matters, fiction stories, & drawn surrealistic pictures, but never really tried music. Why music? Why now?

3 times my father took me to a High Holy Day service in our local synagogue. As we sat there, I felt his discomfort & ambivalence. Though I didn’t yet know the details, I could feel his sense of anxious alienation--not belonging to this family of a hundred Jewish men who were praying & singing together.

Later I’d learn how he’d been raised orthodox, but in the army with my mom had rebelled against his religion. This was why he felt such discomfort sitting there. Either a spiritual part of him or my mother must have told him to take me there.

I remember how wonderful it was to hear the men singing… The praying together was cool, but the singing together was magical… transporting. Different voices blended into a wonderful human orchestra collectively expressed something profound. I wished to be part of this--but couldn’t. It was like a warm swimming pool… I just wanted to jump in. I felt welcome… it was my family--but I didn’t speak the language--nor was I bold enough to sing publicly… yet. Nobody’d taught me the words, Hebrew or English. So, I couldn’t join in… yet. Even if I could’ve, I might’ve been afraid to leave my Dad alone.

Turning orthodox four years ago allowed me to study the Bible which has ten times more depth than all psychological and psychoanalytic books I’ve read… and I’ve read every book by Freud and Jung. Actually, these theories arise from the Bible’s wisdom… from God’s wisdom. This also allowed me to learn the songs I’d heard as a child. I am happy these days when I’m singing with my Rabbi and fellow Congregants. I can now do a mean rendition of “Kabballas Shabbos.”

Music helped me connect with my ancestors. This ancestral connection began to “heal” the damage done by my parents’ immature decisions--and later my own--and their flight into assimilation. But, suddenly, 4 months ago--music came to me as a way to also reach the people of the world. Why would I want to reach the people of the world?

I believe the Bible is written in “dream language” as defined by Freud. No Freud was not spiritual and rejected the existence of God, while basing his theory upon the principles taught in the Torah. That’s why parts of his theory are so brilliant… because they come right out of the Bible. I say more about that elsewhere.

I believe the Torah asserts dream language is the language of God. This is in contrast to “normal conversational language.” That’s why God often speaks to us in dreams. Some say some of our dreams are actually God’s dreams coming into our consciousness.

Dream language leads to a similar type of experience to the one we have in our dreams. Dream language carries far more information. It adds a dimension of instinctual experience that can’t be found in normal language. My songs speak in dream language.

I create these songs to share my experiences and channel God’s wisdom hidden away in my creative imagination. God gives us all a mission.

I hope these songs open eyes to an important spiritual mission anyone can take… beginning any moment. We shall introduce people to a Cyber Space Station called “The Gathering Place,” where one will find my songs, lyrics, videos, and psychological papers, bio, & related stuf. There will also be an interactive arena where classes, discussions, workshops, and classes will be held.

What is the goal of this community building? In the Lollipop Cruise series, what is Mee Kah-El’s goal? What is he trying to accomplish with Alisha’s help? His goal and my goal are one. To learn more, listen to the entire Lollipop Cruise series.